[Kamen Rider Decade]

Some comments by Crayfish that I really like:

Wow. That was fuckin' awful.

Yeah, hearing about Onyx again was great. WHY were the Dino Gems on Onyx's black market? How did they get there, in what context did Broodwing acquire them? The Psycho Cards were stolen from Eltar, Kendrix's Quasar Saber got sent out into the universe, this is random. Where were the White and Black Gems? Destroyed, outbid, in the hands of a private collector, what? The energy within the Dino Gems was exhausted, they were useless artifacts. Tommy said as much.

Where did the new energy to power them come from? If Broodwing could expend the power to reenergize the Dino Gems, why didn't he use that same power for something else? Why did he try and kidnap the Dino Rangers through time, and why in god's name would he think they would WANT to work with him? If this was a two-parter we could have gotten Broodwing brainwashing them into thinking they already lived in a tyrannical police state, and Broodwing was the lone faction holding the line against both Gruumm and Cruger... But no, he just has a stupid plan with way more effort expended than gained even if it had worked out perfectly.

Cruger does the reasonable, rational thing and sidelines the Dinos rather than let the conflict spiral out of hand by endangering their lives. This ignoring the fact that they aren't Rangers anyway (something the ep fluctuates back and forth on), they really have nothing to contribute to the battle and should not want to help, and that THIS IS THE GOD-DAMNED TEAMUP. Yes, this is the most logical thing in the history of SPD. It's also poison for a teamup for plotting purposes.

Watching B-Squad sass the Dino Rangers just makes me hate them even more. Who the fuck do these people think they are, if these are allegedly their heroes? "Fighting dinosaurs is so prehistoric?" And they're supposed to ADMIRE the DT? Jesus Christ, these people are dicks. What happened to all the character growth and "rising above pettiness" B-Squad was supposed to have done?

What is WITH the Dinos? Just one line about how "powers or not, we were taught to do the right thing if it was within our power." That's all I ask. As is it, they keep trying to race into a battle they're woefully ill-equipped to deal with. It makes them look reckless. Scratch that, it makes them look STUPID.

So how did SPD get perfect schematics for the Dino Morphers and the ability to fabricate them so quickly? I mean, it'd make sense if SPD's Earth division rose out of the work done by Ethan and Kira after their Grid experience with the Rock of Ages (and if we can write off Kat's presence on Earth prior as a liaison function)... Except that doesn't work. Neither Ethan nor Kira suddenly exclaimed "Sky! Z!" upon the team arriving. Nary a word about the Hidden Ep. Despite the fact this episode confirms B-Squad also uses the Morphing Grid, something established in the Hidden Ep.

Hey, remember the Gruumm/Doggie showdown we were implicitly promised back when we learned what happened to Cruger's planet? Here it is. All ten seconds of it. Gruumm jumps on TEH TRUK, their swords clash, Anubis makes a funny, and it's over. Assuming the Magnificence doesn't just kill or minimize Gruumm the instant the finale begins, this may well be the last time Gruumm and Cruger fight. That makes me sad.

Two of the best bits in the episode are the jubilation over A-Squad's possible return and Jack reaffirming their recent surprise by addressing his team as B-Squad. I loved that. That's the Jackie Marchand I know and love from past seasons. That's some excellent writing. At the far opposite end of that spectrum is Gruumm flashing the giant neon sign of "I HAVE A-SQUAD, YOU STUPID BITCH." This is made all the worse by the fact Cruger doesn't even deign it worth acknowledgment.

You know, I honestly forgot Sam was in the middle of a Megazord fight, we had cut away so long for the usual teamup stuff. Weak juice. I don't suppose we could, as Jesse had suggested, had the Dino Rangers take the Megazord out themselves unmorphed while Kat worked on replicating their Morphers. They've got cockpit sets. Incorporate them more into what's otherwise a by the book SPD episode with some old characters thrown in. DEMONSTRATE real heroism has nothing to do with having superpowers -- a theme Jackie explored quite well in Fighting Spirit.

Hey Doggie -- don't just root for the old team to get in some licks while you stand there. Yeah, there's no chance they could kill Gruumm -- you still have an incredibly powerful enchanted sword of your own, with its own finisher. TAKE A WHACK AT GRUUMM TOO. He's weakened, you goober. There is no excuse NOT to fight him.

"I've never seen so many Krybots at once before." Really? Not even when Gruumm led the assault which destroyed your home planet and killed your teammates? Not when Benaag made you fight a hundred Krybots in your first outing as Shadow Ranger? God, I hate Krybots. I hate SPD's sloppy universe construction. I hate SPD's complete lack of generals and lieutenants. I hate Morgana's uselessness. At least Elsa got to DO things. When's the last time we saw Morgana chilling out at Piggy's with a smoothie, hashing out her latest evil scheme to get that Omega Ranger?

Why isn't Trent here? Why didn't anybody even acknowledge his existence? Or Mercer's? Or Elsa's? Or Hayley's? Or Cassidy and Devin's? DT had one of the best supporting casts in PR history, and nobody gets a mention. They flew Parazzo down for maybe a minute and a half of screentime max in Wormhole. Why was he not in this? The whole dynamic of this episode was skewed (perhaps damned) because a teamup where all the action involves six-and-three interactions just doesn't work. The POSING doesn't even work right. When Jack steps up to make his big declaration he completely pushes the Dino Rangers out of frame. The DTs have nothing comparable to SWAT, and treating Super Dino Mode as such just makes it all the worse.

Though nice job keeping Sam sidelined for all the "teamup fighting." Can you imagine how much worse the episode would be if it was SEVEN and three? The DT already look completely irrelevant and incompetent as it is. This is a skirmish SPD could win normally. The only reason they couldn't is because Gruumm attacked on two fronts. Doggie and Sam were, no pun intended, NEUTERED from how we've seen them handle threats in the past to give the Dinos something to do. SWAT was neutered.

God, Bridge and Sky STOP USING THEIR GUNS TO SOMERSAULT ETHAN. YOU HAVE RIOT CANNONS. JACK'S APPARENTLY CAN DESTROY A METEOR IN ONE SHOT. USE THEM TO SHOOT THE ROBOTS. DON'T LET THE GUY WITH SPIKES ON HIS ARMS HIT THEM.

The lack of dignity afforded both teams here is repugnant. It really is.

I hate the fact that nobody thinks to send the Deltabase or SWAT Megazord out to rescue Sam's ass while the team is preoccupied. I hate the fact that the entire Dragoul fight is pointless because not only do we know there's another team of Rangers running around in the quarry, there's an entire SECOND FLEET of Zords waiting to save Sam's bacon. And not just the bigger, cooler Megazord. The fucking Carrierzord is on standby. It's all just so... Naked and contrived. Like they're not even trying to gloss the mechanics of how this episode works.

I'm sorry, Jackie. It pains me to say it, but worst teamup ever. This dethroned Time for Lightspeed, whose crime was simply not caring about a cast people didn't care about in the first place. This crime was mitigating the presence and usefulness of the PRDT in an episode ostensibly celebrating them. It dethroned Trakeena's Revenge, a teamup which clearly wanted to be about the villains double and triple crossing each other and have nothing whatsoever to do with the Galaxy and Lightspeed Rangers. This was a stock SPD episode (ie: we're burning through some Deka footage) with the teamup bolted right on top of it. It is the biggest, nakedest tacking on of a plot I've ever seen.

Though Jesse's observation this is the first teamup since LG to unequivocally be set at a particular point in the continuity is a rather valid one. A shame Wormhole can't say the same.

This is too negative, let's try a different tact. What did I like about the episode? Ethan was unquestionably in-character. "We've run away from way scarier guys than you" might actually be my favorite Ethanism in the entire run of the show. Kira being Emma got a bigger laugh out of me than I'd have expected (and she looked hot in the go-go boots -- how come we never got to see her legs without some ugly fishnets?).

As Jesse noted, Conner ending up teaching kids soccer because his own dreams of turning pro never quited worked out was a fantastic touch -- especially considering Ethan does in fact end up as a rich and famous software guru, just as he prophecized. That's the Jackie Marchand I've been watching since season three.

And that's all very uplifting and "go Dinos" to hear -- until you remember this is coming out of the mouths of people who not fifteen minutes earlier pretty much called them useless and worthless. God, I hate B-Squad. They are incapable of growth or change, they're just locked in these eternal cycles of pusedo growth and change which are reset until the finale changes it all for real. Just fucking like fucking Time fucking Force.

You know, ironically... This episode also contains one of the biggest indications SPD is not, in fact, in the PR universe as we've known it from MMPR to PRDT. The Dino Rangers are considered one of the greatest teams in history, known throughout the galaxy for their great deeds and the evils they vanquished.

... DT was one of the smallest scale seasons in years. The ORGS were a more legitimate threat to the planet than Mesogog. Until he had the Dino Gems, Mesogog was roughly threatening on a city-wide level. His global aspirations were implausible. Yeah, he tried to implode Jupiter once to create a second sun, but... God. The MMPR should be galactically known. The Space Rangers should be. They DID enormous things, and knocked over vast intergalactic empires. The Dino Rangers are NOBODIES.

You know, I'm actually considering arguing this. I know the big new theory in Mutant Chat is the "giant reset," even among the fans and former fans of SPD. They're lobbying for the dream ending or training simulation retcon, a clean break to force SPD out of continuity. I disagree with this. Much as I might dislike SPD, I hate the idea of forcing something out of a timeline simply on the basis that it isn't good, or that people didn't like it. Once you do that, nothing is SAFE. As I said once to Rangerking, where do you stop? First ten minutes of TJ's Identity Crisis didn't happen? Bulk and Skull were never plumbers, and they got one of Wicked Wisher's coins through an extortion scheme?

I think SPD is in another timeline. It's kind of close to the PRU on some details, but it's also very distinct and different. I mean, we all know for a fact in five years the sheer press of time is going to push SPD out of continuity anyway. In order to do SPD the show has to be willing to tackle alien integration into Earth culture, and the establishment of SPD as the planet's primary defense agency above all others. This will never happen, and as such SPD will never be the future of PR.

The show can either passively deal with the fact SPD will never be the future, or it can aggressively deal with the fact SPD will never be the future (we get a two-part episode in 2010's season where a seminal event in the establishment of SPD's Deltabase on Earth NEVER HAPPENS, or is PREVENTED). I suspect it will be the first. If Bruce is still EP in five years he won't deal with it -- who would in his place -- and if he's not the new guy isn't going to care what happened in a season that many years before his time on the show. I mean, why would you want to watch old episodes of Power Rangers anyway?

This salves the worst problems with SPD (it does enormous amounts to undermine the universe such as it already exists, yet will probably never happen in the first place, yet is maintaining a status quo it NEEDN'T maintain if this timeline won't matter anyway), and means you can do teamups across timelines. It means this season still matters. Establish SPD as PR's Earth-2. Start having characters trek back and forth. It's the mirror universe. It's the PILOT universe. It's the MOVIE universe, I don't care.

Much like Wormhole, this episode feels like somebody watched the last teamup with no understanding how or why PR does teamups and just replicated the surface elements. They even picked the same exact location in the hills the Ninja Storm and Dino Rangers fought at. They even replicated the big handshake between the two Reds. It's BY THE NUMBERS TEAMUP. It's exactly like the stuff Wormhole lifted directly from Thunder Storm. I could understand that if BRUCE wrote this. Bruce didn't write this, JACKIE wrote this. One of PR's best writers. I can't even process that. It FEELS like Wormhole pt. 1, it feels like someone unfamiliar with PR wrote it and some continuity references got slapped on top to appease the whiny net-fans.

... Did I just rake an episode JESSE liked over the coals? Jesus.