my away messages...what are yours?
 

my away messages
#1

Isn't it scary to know what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Why is it that when something is sent in a car, it's called a shipment, yet when it's sent in a ship, it's called cargo?Why do people ask if they can "borrow" a piece of paper? Do they really plan on returning it. If an orange is called an orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow?If a pizza is round then why do they make the box square? If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go on forever?

#2
Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
can't talk on the computer now, so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on the computer now, I mean, like, I'm at the computer NOW, writing this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

#3
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"



#4
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?

Life is not like a pencil, if you make a mistake, it can't be erased. Life is more like a pen, you can use white out to cover it up, but you'll always be reminded of the spot where you made a mistake.